I'd rather listen to nails on a chalkboard than...
Weekly Long Run: 7 Miles
Today we ran 7 miles down on the Mt. Vernon trail which runs alongside the Potomac River. The snow has finally melted away and it was a beautiful day to be outside. Minus running against 25 mph winds… Anyway, I thought we were making really good time at 54 minutes but then I realized my watch stopped, so yeah, it was probably more like 66 minutes.
Tell me the difference...
Between a tortilla and a wrap?
E anche oggi, non ho fatto un cazzo!
(via luvincrush) There was one point in my life where I would have understood this. Sigh.
Dave Matthews Band - You and Me
What would you say...
about someone with: Fake hair Fake nails Fake boobs Fake tan?
samestuff: Just saw a self rightious biker run a red light and get hit by a cab. He deserves it.
You just gave that baby full blown AIDS!– Always Sunny in Philadelphia
A "LOL" Moment
So, as you all are well aware of, I received our wedding invitations in the mail yesterday. This is when I realized that in addition to handwriting every guest’s name and address, I will have to handwrite our return address on the back flap since they were not pre-printed. That’s just too much cursive for me, so I decided to order a self inking stamp from Bear Rubber Stamps on Etsy: ...
Today is awesome.
Here are the reasons why: Still head over heels with the wedding invitations! The snowicane missed us! Had extra time this morning to get some Starbucks! Lost weight despite eating way too many fattening things this week! Got some extra cash in my paycheck! Getting free Potbelly for lunch! Possibly playing laser tag tonight! It’s FRIDAY!
Eric and I really do have a weigh-in Friday in real life, but I thought I should mention that after devouring a 1lb bag of M&Ms over the course of this past week, I lost 0.8 pounds. I worked out every day this week so I guess they didn’t do as much damage as they could have! Maybe I should buy another bag…
Guys, cover your eyes...
Girls: While at work, how do you transport ‘feminine protection products’ from your desk to the bathroom?
Songs That Make Me Want to Slit my Wrists Right...
girlwearsmascara: that two is better than one song according to you (even though i think orianthi is the coolest name ever, ears = bleeding) Fireflies. I don’t really know if I know what Justin Bieber sings but I probably don’t like it. Also, that Alvin and the Chimpmunks rapping song. What is that? there are more but, really. Mind reader.
bees-knees asked: I think you're hilarious. That's it really.
How do calligraphers write in such straight lines? I will be addressing our wedding invitations myself, but I’m afraid I’ll write on a crazy slants and stuff. Does anyone know any tricks of the trade?
Anonymous asked: Question! I've recently been trying to slim down (who isn't,ha) and noticed a difference in your appearance between older photos and your new photos, you look like you've done such a great job of living your normal lifestyle and getting into great shape. Any advice?
Dude, I just spent the afternoon in Middle-earth with glee-glop and the...– Role Models I’ve watched this 3 times in the past month. Hilarious every time.
Why are my ribs and/or hip sore?
I’m fairly certain that I attack myself in my sleep. I ALWAYS wake up with nicks on my hands and/or scratches on my arms. Now my left lower ribs and left hip are sore to the touch. WTF?
Love Handles Saved My Life →
kirakenzie: Can this be used as an excuse to skip my morning spin class? My guess is NO. Bahaha “I want to be as big as I can if it’s going to stop a bullet.” Haha, that’s the spirit.
But when there’s a bowl of chocolately goodness, that melts in my mouth -...– Me about eating the majority of the 1lb bag of M&Ms
Our invitations are being delivered today!
Eeeek! I’m so very super excited for this!
They are called “killer whales” for a reason.
Dear CareerBuilder Job Match Emails,
Please do not suggest “pro bono” positions unless you are willing to pay me to do them. Love, Kim
I might as well finish off these M&Ms so they’re gone faster and I don’t keep eating them.
Old House New House
Green House Blue House Same house, different colors. I lived in this thing when it was vomit-green. When we lived there, we suggested they paint it a pretty color and maybe rebuild/paint the steps. We moved out, and then they did it. Bastards! Twas an awesome apartment, though. And you’d never guess from the looks of it, but it was pretty cute inside.
MOTHER_ _ _ _ _ _
Did anyone watch SPINdustry? If so, remember when that main gay dude sprayed Windex on a cupcake after he had one bite and then threw it in the trash? I think I need to keep a bottle of Windex handy. I have no will power.
This is the number of days until our wedding. <Insert panic attack here>
Disappointed with tonight’s episode.
Today is Tuesday.
This means there are still 3 more days left until the weekend.
Does anyone have any advice to make running on a treadmill a little less…horrible? In real life, I can run miles and miles and miles outside. Put me on a treadmill, I’m lucky if I can run 3. I might add that this tread mill has the works: a TV, radio, fan, iPod hookup, etc. but I still want to kill myself. Help?
Andrew S. cries and cries and cries the bronzer right off his face. But like,...– 2birds1blog
I wish I was talking about cupcakes or cake. But no. Sadly, I’m talking about a coworkers outfit. Yes, that’s right people. A long, red, velvet skirt.
Eating too much chocolate lately.
So good. Too good to stop.